why does the moon shine?
by chalkia
Summary: "It says here that the Moon doesn't actually have light of its own." Shōyō says. There's a pretty close-up of the Moon, and Kei doesn't know why that hit so close to home. [drabble]


why does the moon shine?

Tsukishima's day has been nothing but awful.

He kept waking up every forty minutes at night, forgot to bring his headphones and was forced to come up with another way to excuse himself out of conversations that shouldn't have begun in the first place. If that wasn't enough, Tobio missed out on today's studying session. And that would've been fine by him if it weren't for one small, little detail.

Shōyō didn't.

And his voice was even more jarring to Kei when he's this sleep deprived.

But, lately, he's noticed he hasn't needed to be half asleep in order to find him unbearable; how he's always so fidgety and excitable, how he yells for no apparent reason, how his hair is so very orange and his eyes so very big in childlike wonder. That's hardly the worst part about him, though.

He's Tsukishima's alter ego, and it took a long time pondering about it at night for Kei to finally realize this. That doesn't mean he's come to terms with it—rather, the opposite. He can't stand it, but he's too stubborn to look in the mirror and say, _I'll change,_ though it's not because he thinks that's fair and realistic. He just wants to stop being compared.

To his eyes, that was the worst part of it all; the comparison.

Sure, Kei can compare Shōyō with the Sun. Bright, retina burning, unbearable, won't budge. Inevitably, it'll die out like any star is destined to, so it's not like it's _special_. Even less when you realize there are millions alike out there. So are there Moons, but he already knows that. Everyone does, it seems. And they just can't stop putting Tsukishima and the Moon in the same sentence. Partly, because it's a character on his name, but that's beside the point.

But there can't be life without the Sun, or balance without the Moon. And that's precisely what they brought out as their respective tasks in the team; it's only then when their duality splits and they eclipse, but also collapse. It's an alternation between both, and they're sort of working on it.

What they aren't working on, though, is today's lecture.

Shōyō is so painfully easy to distract, and any sound is an excuse for him to go outside and check it out. Kei couldn't tell you how many times he's groaned about hunger, about his "brain is frying", or that they should just leave to practice tossing or some other move they definitely have time to do tomorrow. All the nonsense incites Kei to frown and push his book forwards, only to be met with a shrieking Hinata crying out the imminent death his grades would meet if he left now.

And god, did he want to leave.

"You're so hard to work with," he says like he's one to talk, pushing his glasses upwards on the bridge of his nose and keeping his hand there. Inhale, exhale. That's the only way he's kept himself sane most of this time.

"It's just—the letters are so tiny! Maybe I should get glasses too."

God forbid, he'd never hear the end of it when they're excessively compared as it is. Or at least to Kei's standards, they were.

"You get hit in the face way too much to get glasses."

"Harsh!"

Despite the temple-rubbing frustration and scowl inducing back and forth they had, mostly on Kei's part, he can't bring himself to hate him. He doesn't hate anyone, for that matter, but you'd think he'd dislike him to that extent. He doesn't believe in the opposites attract theory, but he can see why it's so widely spread. He would never get along with Shōyō entirely, and Shōyō, clueless as he is, would never notice. _But that's fine._ Kei didn't want him to.

"Oh—Tsukishima!" He calls out in splendid amazement. For once, it isn't loud or obnoxious. For once, he's got Tsukishima willing to listen.

"What is it…?"

"It says here," he begins, "that the Moon doesn't actually have light of its own. I remember something about this was on the last test, and I totally must've gotten it wrong…" scratching the nape of his neck, he chuckles at his textbook. There's a pretty close-up of the Moon, and Kei only glances at it.

He doesn't know why that hit so close at home.

"Well, obviously. It only reflects whatever light the Sun shines." Tsukishima is oblivious as to why his words are dragged and almost get stuck between his teeth. He switches pages so carelessly; he doesn't even realize the papercut he got.

"Of course you'd know that…" Hinata grumbles, a little disappointed it wouldn't come off as a surprise. He should've foreseen Tsukishima isn't in the high-ranking classes he is for nothing.

"But I've always wondered something."

"Huh?"

Tsukishima stands up, slow, a little roughly from this entire time of being sitting on his legs, knees bent. Leaning above the table, he shoves his books on his bag and lifts his eyes to meet Shōyō's; he may not get what he's trying to imply, _but that's fine_.

"What does the word _moonlight_ exist for?"

He's not meant to.

* * *

i've always wanted to write a quick drabble of tsukishima's perspective to the pressure of being compared to hinata, and the different ways they believe in themselves... thank you for reading


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